Sunday, January 20, 2019

What Are My Contributions To The Relationship?

This question ties in neatly with the previous question which was “What is in the relationship for me? In today’s teaching, we are answering the question “what are my contributions to the relationship?” Please, never get to a place where you think you have nothing to contribute in a relationship. Your contributions must not be financial or physical resources. It could be your advice, your talents, or your creativity. Amen! Every one of us is very unique and gifted and because we are relational beings, we have a duty to tap into our talents and creativity not just for our benefit but for the benefit of those we will get into a relationship with. To do otherwise will be a disfavor to people.

You can determine in your heart what you will like to bless your relationships with. It could be one thing only. But I tell you, you will be approaching the relationships from a kingdom perspective than if you did otherwise. Never feel inferior to anyone. Understand that your assignments are different and just as much as you think you need other people’s contributions, so too do they need yours. What you have to offer may not be as relevant to one person but I guarantee you that it is important to another.

Contribute boldly and confidently for the glory of God. God the Father contributed. Jesus contributed and we are still benefiting from His contributions now. When Jesus contributed, not everyone thought it was relevant or important, but others thought so. Amen. Your mindset should be that of Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) which says “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Be observant and strengthen an area of weakness in your relationships if that is your area of gifting. Do so with a godly attitude and your contributions will be very much appreciated. Amen.

What Is In The Relationship For Me?

Believe it or not, it is very godly to find out what is in a relationship for you. Do not get into any relationship blindly. It is not a question of selfishness rather maximization. To maximize is to make the best use of a thing or person, in this case. Please do not waste relationships. If you understand that relationships are indeed spiritual and seasonal, your approach to relationships will change for good.

The story of David and Goliath of Gath is a great example of this principle. Before getting into a battle relationship with Goliath, David asked the Israelites “what will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel?”. David was conscious of this truth and also conscious of the reward system. Truly, there is a reward system in the Kingdom but beyond that, the citizens in the kingdom need to live conscious of it. Amen! David, as a kingdom citizen, understood it and demanded to know for himself. So too you should. It is godly to do so. We are not suggesting an arrogant approach either. Amen!

I will suggest to you an approach that is commonly used to evaluate relationships. Prior to or when in a relationship ask yourself these questions:
-Am I in this relationship to mutually benefit with the others?
-Am I in this relationship to add to the lives of others?
-Am I in this relationship so that the other person adds to my life?

These 3 categories are great because, it helps to give you an understanding of how to relate otherwise you will live life, wasting your relationships. And I must say this, if you are genuinely adding to the other person’s life positively, the purpose is to get to a place of maturity where you all reason the same and dominate in the Kingdom. Amen! Never desire to only add to a person’s life and never expect to see results. We had previously examined the place of expectations in relationships. And we said that even our heavenly Father has expectations of us and rightly so because He has made available to us and deposited within us what we need to know.

Likewise, if you are in a relationship and the other party seems to be the one adding into your life, challenge yourself and grow up to a place of maturity. Do not become a leech. Do not be selfish. Live life beyond yourself. Look at it as an opportunity to learn, grow and become a better relationship being.
Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)
Walk with the wise and become wise,
    for a companion of fools suffers harm.

I will conclude by saying this:
i)                Relationship is not a competition grown. When God created us in His image and likeness, He did not later regret His decision or sought to compete with us. If you observe carefully you will see that our Father is doing everything possible for us to operate from a platform of authority just like He is doing.
ii)              Relationship is like a bank. You can only withdraw what you deposit in it. Do not take advantage of people. If you attempt withdrawing more than you deposited, you risk placing the relationship in an overdrawn state. The principle of seedtime and harvest is very much applicable in this situation (Genesis 8:22).
This is applicable to all relationships. Amen!


There is an endless list of individuals in scriptures who served as instruments of change in the lives of others. The frequency of th...