Conclusion

As we come to the end of this series, our desire for you is that you will continue to grow and become better in your relationships. So much has been covered in this series in an attempt to get you started in the right direction. Where ever you are in relationship, how far you have gone into your relationship should not stop you from desiring to improve on how you do relationships. Give yourself the opportunity to grow and do better – from glory to glory. Learn from the word and also learn from great examples around you. Desire excellence in the area of relationships. Do not allow the lies of the enemy keep you stagnant. Amen.

For the purpose of concluding on this series, I will do a brief recap of all that has been covered. We began by rediscovering, reestablishing and understanding our place in the context of relationship and the highlight of that teaching was that it was for the purpose of relationship that God created us and that relationship is His idea. So let’s learn how to do relationships better by relating with Him first. We said relationship is spiritual, therefore, the word of God provides the necessary tools to help us handle relationships in a godly and knowledgeable manner. We went further to look at 10 possible questions a person should consider asking themselves with answers from scriptures, before getting into any relationship. Then, we later examined a few Bible characters who demonstrated the kingdom approach in relationship. Amen.

In the next series, we will attempt to look at our Father from a relational perspective. Learning from Him relational traits that will enlighten us, and help us approach relationships better. Stay tuned!

They Demonstrated Kingdom Purpose In Relationship

·       The case of Jesus

John 6:38 (NIV)

For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.

Jesus was in relationship with the Father and the focus of Jesus while here on earth was to do only the will of His Father. A statement of purpose. Meaning that, at every given time you find Jesus, he was going about the will of His Father. Amen.

That should be our story. Our purpose should be to do only the will of the Father not otherwise. By so doing, we will be great examples in our relationships for others to emulate.

·       The Case of Paul, Timothy and Titus

2 Timothy 1:11 (NLT)

And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.

Emphasis Mine

2 Timothy 4:5 (NKJV)

But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

Emphasis Mine

Titus 1:5 (NKJV)

For this reason, I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you.

Emphasis Mine

Add meaning to your life by living purposefully because God created you for a purpose. Amen.

Paul, Timothy and Titus functioned in many offices. The goal of these verses is to help us see how kingdom purpose was emphasized in their relationship as Paul functioned in his purpose in the kingdom and encouraged Timothy and Titus to do likewise. Amen.

They Demonstrated Knowledge of the Kingdom Identity in Relationship

I will read for you a few examples from scriptures of individuals who demonstrated knowledge of kingdom identity.

·       The case of Paul - 2 Corinthians 1:1 (NKJV) - Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,

·       The case of Jude - Jude 1:1 (NKJV) - Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James

·       The Case of Peter - 1 Peter 1:1 (NKJV) - Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To the pilgrims of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,

Notice how these individuals established their identity.

After mentioning who they are, they went further to establish whose they are, then their association with others. Amen.

Our emphasis is this, in every relationship, if you are only identified by your name, there is a problem. Those who relate with you should be able to know you by your name and also know your identity in Christ. It should not be hidden but rather known. Paul said I am Paul, the Apostle of Jesus Christ. Jude said, I am Jude a bondservant of Jesus Christ, and Peter said, I am Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ. Amen. So let’s emulate them and do better in our relationships.

Notice that your identity in Christ precedes your relationship with others.

Paul said, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, Jude said, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James.

Peter said, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the pilgrims of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia.

Always remember that your identity in Jesus Christ precedes your relationship with others. By so doing, you will be demonstrating knowledge of kingdom identity in relationship.

  

He Demonstrated Knowledge of the Kingdom Reward System In Relationship

·       The case of David – 1 Samuel 17 introduces us to the battle relationship between David and Goliath of Gath, a very familiar Bible story. Our emphasis in this story is on the kingdom reward system in relationship. David learned of the threats the Israelites were receiving from the Philistines and he also heard of the rewards that will be offered to the man that kills Goliath.

1 Samuel 17:25 (NIV)

Now the Israelites had been saying, “Do you see how this man keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Israel. The king will give great wealth to the man who kills him. He will also give him his daughter in marriage and will exempt his family from taxes in Israel.”

Emphasis Mine

The understanding here is that David heard the rewards, but even after hearing, he inquired on two different occasions to be certain that what he heard was true. Once he got confirmations about what the reward will be, he engaged himself into this battle relationship. Won the battle and got the rewards. Amen.

The story of David and Goliath is a great example that demonstrates the truth about the kingdom reward system in relationship.

They Demonstrated Kingdom Priority In Relationship

·       The case of Esther – Esther demonstrated kingdom priority in relationship when she found herself in the palace against her will. A decree was passed by King Ahasuerus and all the young virgins were assembled and extensive body treatments were done to prepare them for the king, after which he will choose who will be the next queen. All these happened after queen Vashti had been dethroned. Amen. This is what I will like us to learn from Esther, in the context of relationship and kingdom priority. Esther 2:15 (NKJV) Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go into the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai the king’s eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised. And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all who saw her.

 From a practical perspective, the name Hegai in Hebrew means “word”; it also means “meditation”. By implication, Esther only requested what the word advised. So, although in a relationship she did not choose for herself, she still allowed the word to remain priority. Amen. She is a great example.

The case of Paul and Onesimus – When you read Paul’s Epistle to Philemon, it gives you a better appreciation of kingdom priority in relationship. Summarily, Philemon was a member of the church in Colosse at the time. Meanwhile, Paul was imprisoned in Rome. Onesimus escaped from his slave master Philemon. Upon his escape, Onesimus made his way to Rome, where he eventually met with Paul who led him to Christ. Amen. I want us to see that, first, Paul did not plan to get into any relationship with Onesimus. Secondly, Paul was imprisoned and by implication, his condition was not conducive, nevertheless, that did not stop him from developing a relationship with Onesimus for the purpose of leading Onesimus to Christ. In addition to that, he even encouraged Onesimus to return to his slave master Philemon. Amen.

These are just a few examples of individuals who demonstrated kingdom priority in relationship. Let’s emulate them. Amen.

They Demonstrated Kingdom Values In Relationship

Together, let’s take a look at a few Bible characters who demonstrated kingdom values in their relationship. Our goal is to see the significance of having and maintaining kingdom values even while in relationships.

·       The case of Daniel – The book of Daniel tells us that Daniel was a young man who was taken into Babylonian captivity. Despite the Babylonian captivity (a relationship he was forced into), Daniel did not bow to the values of his environment. Rather, he upheld kingdom values. In that environment of captivity, Daniel fasted and prayed rather than partake of the king’s meat and drink. Daniel worshipped the one and only true God rather than bow down to idols. He lived honorably unto the Lord even when criticized. He understood from scriptures according to the prophecy of Jeremiah, how long the desolation of Jerusalem would last. Meaning he understood the value of getting directions from the word. Amen.

·       The case of Joseph – In Genesis 39, we are told about the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. Another great example of someone who was forced into a relationship, this time, by virtue of being sold by his brothers.  While in Potiphar’s home, Potiphar’s wife attempted to have Joseph sin against the Lord with her, Joseph did not compromise his values despite the consequences. Amen.

·       The case of Paul and Barnabas – In the book of Acts 13, we are told that Paul, Barnabas, and John Mark were on their first missionary journey and in Acts 15, John Mark decided to desert them in Pamphylia and left the work. We are not specifically told why John Mark made this decision at such a critical time in their journey. However, this is what I will like us to see. Despite the circumstances faced, Paul and Barnabas had to continue the advancement of the kingdom. Their kingdom pursuit was priority even though their relationship had been affected. Amen.

These are just a few examples of people who maintained their values in the midst of challenging relationships.  Although not specifically stated, I believe the values we see demonstrated by these individuals were not developed during their relationships but rather, prior to their relationships. The pressures of life have a way of forcing us to compromise in our relationships, the values you once upheld. So my encouragement to you is this. Begin working on and defining your kingdom values, do not wait until you get into a relationship before you do so. Amen.

What Are Some Benefits of the Kingdom Approach To Relationship?

i)                The Father is pleased and glorified – Our goal should be to live for Him, in obedience to Him through our lifestyle (our thoughts, actions, words, etc.).

ii)              It is a seed that will produce after itself – You can be sure that your time invested to build meaningful relationships will yield a good harvest of quality relationships.

iii)            We are satisfied – Psalm 107:9a (ESV) “He satisfies the longing soul”. Most people long for satisfaction in their relationships. One way to achieve this satisfaction is to change your approach.

iv)            Success and prosperity are guaranteed – The pain and dissatisfaction in most relationships hinders success and prosperity because those involved might become victims of self-centeredness in an attempt to resolve relational conflicts. The kingdom approach will spare you the trouble of disorderliness in your relationships.

v)              Stability is guaranteed – A stable relationship is indeed a blessed relationship.

vi)            Longevity (if necessary) is guaranteed- Your relationships will be long and lasting depending on the seasons. We had previously established that great relationships are not necessarily permanent relationships. We need to be sensitive to the times and seasons. Amen.

vii)           A reward is guaranteed – you will gain the attention of the king himself. He will recognize your attempts to abide by His principles then He will reward you. Your reward could be great relationships; resources that will help enhance your relationships; more revelation on how to improve your relational skills and more.

viii)         It is replicable – Always remember that your success in any relationship is not accidental. The principles that led to the success of one relationship are likely to lead to the success of another. Amen.

ix)            It is a blessing to generations – Great relationships are blessings to generations and trans-generation. One great relationship has the potential of changing the destiny of a generation.

x)              It is exemplary to others – The word of God encourages us to be examples. It says in Matthew 5:16 (KJV) Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. We relate with people and when we live exemplary relational lifestyles, we become examples for them to emulate.

xi)            It is a demonstration of your understanding of the knowledge and wisdom of God’s word – James 3:13 (NLT) If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. Your living, your lifestyle is a clear demonstration of your understanding of the knowledge and wisdom of God’s word. Wisdom is not something that is left to guesswork or something that is unknown. A wise person can be known; likewise a foolish person.

xii)           It is a demonstration of a person’s value system – When you approach relationships from a kingdom perspective, it truly reveals your values. One of which is that Jesus is indeed King of your life.

xiii)         It is a reflection of the glory of the Father’s heart – Relationship is meant to be glorious. A great relationship is indeed a reflection of His glory. God never intended for us to fail in relationships.

xiv)         You are privileged to attract your kind – This is so because when you approach relationships from a kingdom perspective, you engage the principle of seedtime and harvest. Eventually, you begin to surround yourself with like-minded individuals as they do likewise. Amen.